Whimsical Soul Journey

A Time for Everything

2011-11-21T11:21:00.000-07:00

To every thing there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up;

a time for war, and a time for peace;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

This poem from Ecclesiastes,
with all of its conflicting purposes
and meanings of life, has
long been a favorite of mine.

I remember that it was

also one of my father's favorites.

I don't think it is any accident that this poem

of insight, wisdom, and hope

is found in the same Biblical book

that cries out, repeats, echoes, and resounds

with this despairing declaration:

Vanity; All is Vanity.

I have often wondered about this juxtaposition.
I've also thought about the wording of this phrase;

vanity is used in a manner that is uncommon

in our time and it didn't quite make sense to me.
Eventually I sought alternate

translations for habel, the Hebrew word

that has been traditionally translated as vanity.

Here are a few that I found:

Meaningless; All is meaningless.

Meaningless seems too extreme.

Useless; All is useless.

Seems hopeless.

Futility, everything is futility.

Hmmm. This seems to capture the essence.

Futility; All is futility.

It is not that I feel or believe

that all of life is futile.

But haven't there been times

in your days and weeks

when it feels like there is no sense or reason

for much of anything?

It is not uncommon during times of

despondency or depression;

perhaps also during times of utter frustration.

Or perhaps when facing inner responses

to a milestone of aging.

During such times there can easily arise

a sense of futility;

perhaps even a useless, senseless void.

And the vanity, or futility,

of life may recur in life just as it does

in this ancient book of wisdom.

These two themes, seasons of the spirit

and a recurring sense of futility,

resonate with the human spirit.

For me, at this time in my life, they have special meaning.

I have chosen to take a leave of absence. Again.

For I want to experience life.

I do not want to sink into the quicksand of futility.

It has had its paralyzing hold on me before.

I sank up to my knees, bound by some force,

and I could not walk forward.

I sank up to my waist and could not turn to face life around me.

I sank further; up to my neck so that I had to stretch
just to breathe.

And I finally asked for help.

This time I am veering away from that looming miry bog.

I am walking toward something else.

What that is, I am not sure.

I am still learning to be.

And I am now intent on seeking how
to value being rather than doing.

I want to learn mindfulness.

I want to experience joy.

And I want to share in life with others.

How about you? Where are you now?

Experiencing a paralyzing rise of futility in your life?

Planting rather than plucking-up?

Or surprised by plucking-up rather than planting?

Enjoying a season of laughing, dancing, and joy?

For everything there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Down the Rabbit Hole!

2011-03-31T11:23:00.006-06:00

I've jumped down the rabbit hole

into something new!

What can be new and exciting with a jump
down your own rabbit hole?

PS: Let me know if you'd like Your face

collaged into this digital piece.

(I'm amazed how much my

ten-year-old partial face

looks like mine now -- plus

my well-earned wrinkles of course!)

Just leave me a note in comments or email.
We can place your face, or that of
someone you love, into the digital piece.

Free gift from me to you!

Happy Spring!

2011-03-21T10:39:00.000-06:00

Spring does come ... regardless.

Thanks for the pic Cody!

All Shall Be Well

2011-03-11T10:56:00.001-07:00

Whatever the circumstances of her life,

including the Black Plague

-- not just once -- but twice --

Julian of Norwich received

this "Showing" from God:

All Shall Be Well

All Manner of Things Shall Be Well

And All Shall Be Well.

What circumstances cloud your days?

How might you imprint this promise over

that situation?

Ordinary Miracle

2011-03-06T08:21:00.001-07:00

It's not that unusual

when everything is beautiful

It's just another

ordinary miracle

today.

Sarah McLachlan

Laughing With Friends -- A Treasure

2011-03-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

My grandfather was known for climbing the

water tower in Crowell (Texas).

His best friend's mother called his mother one afternoon

and said, "Dwight's up on that tower again."

That's the friend in this story from my youngest Uncle:

I came to the hospital to visit dad during the last few months,

and the nurses were kind of chuckling and talking.

I asked what was going on, and they said,

“We saw this elderly man come in with a walker

and go to your dad’s room.

He opened the door and rolled his walker in,

then went in and shut the door.

And then in a few minutes we heard two teenagers in there.”

Who are the friends that can still make you laugh like a teenager?

What a treasure they are!

More treasures:

Family memories

Watercolors by your mother (in her young eighties)

Vintage photographs saved by relatives

After the night ...

2011-02-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

As long as the night seems,

the morn will still dawn.

What brings you hope today?

I am

2011-02-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

I am

the tall Red Hollyhocks my grandmother grew,

the Crepe Myrtle my mother loves.

I am

the books my father loved,

the museums we spent hours exploring,

the movies he took us to see.

I am

the laughter of my husband's puns;

I bask under his quietly watchful eye.

I am the conversations
with my daughter and her love;
I am their photographs:
the waterfalls, the fireworks, the morning sky.

I am the joy of our son,

the woman he loves,

the child he delivered,

the three he takes sledding,

the flowers he tends.

I am

the children of my husband,

their loves, their children five.

I am their music, their sports,
their smiles, their eyes.

I am.

I still am.

I am

the Beloved of the One who

holds all Beloved.

I am

the Winter Pansies,

the Red-Twig Dogwood.

I am

the pine trees

greener-than-green

in the winter sun.

I am my friends.
I am you.

I am

all those around me;

the hunched-over figure,

the smiling women,

the 5am men who buy their drugs,

the yogis, the sparkling tin in the alley,

the abandoned wooden cog in the street,

the gracious neighbor

and silent city skyline.

I am

the rows of corn,

the spiders un-stomped,

the peacocks

and longhorn

and wild kittens.

Who are you?

The Beloved also, that I know.

David's Story

2011-02-22T09:51:00.001-07:00

As you explore this box what images

capture your attention?

What juxtaposition of items bring

questions to your mind?

It's from the series

Stories Without Words

that I've just finished for my

first exhibit. Exciting! It's up at Dazzle,

a jazz club here in Denver, for a few

more weeks.

And now -- finally -- I'm posting again

on my blog. Thanks to all of you who've

emailed or left notes on earlier posts

asking me to come back!

So ... what are your ideas about David's Story.

The inspiration for my piece is only

the beginning. Your imagination

brings dimension and expands the story

into your own life experiences.

Share your thoughts and we'll explore together.

Have fun!

Sharing the Halloween Candy? Really?

2010-11-01T10:04:00.002-06:00

"Madison was hilarious last night."

(She's my 2 year old granddaughter.)

"We would go trick-or-treating to one house and they would

give her a piece of candy. Madison would hold onto it

and when we went to the next house she would

try to give them that piece of candy when they gave her one.

They would say, “'Madison, that’s yours.'

So she would put it in her bag and hold the candy they gave her.

When we went to the next house she would do it again, and try to

give them the piece of candy she was holding

when they gave one to her.

'That’s yours Madison,' they said.

So she would put that one in her bag and hold the candy they gave her.

At the next house ...

Oh, and while I’m telling you this Madison is saying

'Mom ... Mom ... Mom,'

like I’m not supposed to tell you about this."

Sun! Flowers

2010-09-07T23:48:00.000-06:00

Passing the Sunflower Farm without stopping

just wasn't an option.

I pulled over to photograph the rows and rows of

sunflowers with every single yellow flower

turned toward the early morning sun.

(I know. Duh.)

But -- Look!

Every single flower turned toward the sun!

It was so amazing I wanted to climb in there,

right in the middle of all those flowers!

Fortunately ...

there was an end to the barbed wire.

(See me taking the pic?)

I started taking photos ...

and noticed the amazing bees

... of all kinds

... and all sizes!

Then I discovered how beautiful the flowers were from

the back. (There's still a bee, too.)

Finally I took my farewell photos ...
rows and rows of the backs of all those sunflowers.

Flying High 2: Cast Your Vote!

2010-08-29T12:44:00.004-06:00

Which do you like better?

There are so many options when playing with

photoshop layers ... it's often hard to choose.

So you get to vote!

Which do you like better?

This one with wings?

Or Friday's post?

Flying High

2010-08-27T20:10:00.008-06:00

Today I finished altering this photo of mom.

That afternoon mom and her friends were goofing off,

hanging around in front of Crowell High School.

One of the young men picked her up and

set her in this niche to the side of the front doors.

I've always loved this picture and

decided to play with it.

Austin is just below mom's feet and

she holds the Yellow Rose of Texas.

Austin is where mom and dad got married,

and we celebrated that symbolic yellow rose on

their 50th anniversary family reunion cruise.

Perched high on a telephone pole (mom, do you

remember your first telephone? would you write in the
comments any stories you remember?) mom is

surrounded by hummingbirds that she

loves to paint with her water colors.

As I finish this post one of my favorite shows,

Who Do You Think You Are?

has just finished tracing the ancestry of

someone who explored census records, country

cemeteries, and marriage certificates.

We are fortunate to have some of our
family history recorded in an autobiography
mom wrote during her high school years.

Click below to read how three families in heavily ladened
prairie schooners left the hills of Tennessee for Texas in 1851:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/36534720/Autobio-DCB

...somewhere in the rear came Squire Campbell's
iron grey hunter and his fox hounds, for he
hoped in the new country to continue the chase of the fox ...

I love hearing family stories, looking at photos,
and then letting my imagination wander freely
as I think about who I am ... and who I might be.

Playing with Flowers

2010-08-12T11:35:00.000-06:00

There's something refreshing about

playing with beautiful flowers.

Sean plants ... Holly photographs ... I play around.

Seems you can't go wrong when playing with flowers!

Depression Distractions

2010-08-11T10:22:00.003-06:00

Whew!!!

That's not a problem after all!

In the process of dealing with one of those
everyday-life-stressers

I discovered something interesting:

What craziness!
To find a looming
dragon of depression defeated
because something else threatened!

What distracts you from stress?

Look Upward and Outward: Cheyenne Flying Thunderbirds Air Show

2010-08-05T04:06:00.001-06:00

During Cheyenne Days there are moments
when much of the town pauses to look beyond itself.

As we prepared for the Flying Thunderbirds air show
vehicles filled every parking space near the
community college -- and then lined up and down
the highway. On a weekday! In the middle of the day!
(?Is this craziness or is this wisdom?)

Children stared up at the sky
as the six jets turned, swooped, and dove in perfect sync.
Smoke streamed behind as some broke off
for a solo dive-spin, duet, or quartet.

Amazing! And mesmerizing.
Young parents relaxed while teens, children,
and even toddlers gazed above.

It reminds me of how Plato describes the power of
looking above and beyond our own selves

in astronomy and other outward-looking activities:

Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards

and leads us from this world to another.

This is true for the children and youth,
some at-risk, who attend camp at the new-ish

Comanche Springs Astronomy Campus

near our family ranch in Crowell, Texas.

I asked my brother, why astronomy?

He described how gazing into the universe takes

us beyond ourselves so that we might

gain a different kind of perspective

and move on to find new meaning in life.

It was later that I realized he had quoted Plato.

How I Love That!

The creative and yet practical

ways Plato addresses struggles!!!

How do you look upward and outward?

The night sky? Cloud gazing?

Civic Park or Cherry Creek at sunset

as homeless unroll sleeping bags?

Click below to leave a comment
so that we might brainstorm together about how
to look beyond ... and expand our souls.

Put Your Anger to Good Use: Those @^&/!# %/!#@s!

2010-08-03T11:19:00.000-06:00

I love the creative ways some people

throw down the gauntlet

in the face of trouble and the garbage of life!

Here's a reproach and metaphor I like:

...those microscopic &*/@!# cancer cells!

(Insert "Old Testament" thoughts of smiting,

destruction, pestilence, and burnt offerings here).

Hah! Makes me want to adopt this for the DirtyD word.

Depression lurks in the same insidious way,

and we similarly wonder if/when

it will launch a surprise attack from within.

So that you can

use some of this anger in a positive way

I've re-created

a visual journal page for you.

What do you want to glare at Kabuki style?

What pestilence do you want to smite and destroy?

Go for it!!!

You can highlight and then save or print this image;

it's one that will work well in black & white or color.

Use the label for your battle cry

or your own list of creative anger-symbols.

Then use expressive gestures or fonts

as you write/scribble/scrawl your thoughts.

(you can place a text-box on the pages

after saving them on your computer.)

Post or email me a copy of your creation.

Let's put that anger to good use

to name and &*/@!# those &^*@/#!!!*

depressive cancerous *%/!#@s!

Journal Blessings!

Battling Depression -- via a Young Don Quixote

2010-08-01T21:30:00.001-06:00

As a child I was always intrigued by a section of gnarled tree trunk
that was carved into the head of Don Quixote.
It never occurred to me to wonder who Don Quixote was;

after all, he was just some guy dad liked.

Dad also had a small wooden piece, only a few inches tall, a

skinny old guy with knobby knees, pointed helmet, and tall spear-thing.

My brother now has these in a niche in his den.
A good friend has a silkscreen print of Don Quixote on a horse,
again a scrawny guy wearing a pointed helmet

and holding a lance, all drawn with a striking grungy outline.

I finally wondered, who is this Don Quixote?

Well, he’s a guy who seems to be simply silly or crazy-as-anything.

Maybe that’s because he goes through his days with boundless hope.

Or maybe it’s because he thinks every

windmill is a giant enemy that needs to be slain.

(At this point it occurred to me that the pic of dad at nine,

grinning big-enough-to-beat-all as he sat on a horse,

would be perfect to alter: Young Don Quixote!)

Seems to me that jousting with windmill blades is either crazy or delightful.

I think it’s a delightful metaphor
for battling depression -- that visible/invisible

giant-of-an-enemy found in homes far and wide.

What a way to bring a smile to your eyes and a lift of the chin: to face

the day with an imaginary lance (how about this candy-cane striped one

I found on flickr?) ready to battle any giant you might encounter.

Enjoy! Click comments below to share your fav Don Quixote story,

your battle with those visible/invisible-giants-of-depression-or-you-name-it,

or anything else on your mind. (Yes, you can

also still email me -- people love to read comments though

as we grow, think, and learn together.)

Dare ... to Dive In

2010-07-29T22:43:00.009-06:00

Prologue

No, I won’t do it, she thought.

I want to see what will happen. What will become of them.

There’s something special in them ...

It returned.

Fully formed like Athena sprung from the head of Zeus.

But it's not beautiful like that Roman Goddess,

and she's not fully armed and ready to lead in battle.

Carol begins her chemo on Monday.

She is fully armed for battle and has even posted

a rallying cry on her cancer website.

I’ve decided to journey with her and channel that moxy.

I’ll revisit the scene of my battle and post journal entries from

that time in my life, just a couple of years ago.

So ... Why would that take moxy, guts, nerve?

Because cancer wasn’t the biggest battle.

For that I received the accompanying Medal of Honor.

For that I constantly receive a warm congratulatory smile

accompanied by the concerned follow-up, how are you now?

My biggest battle was with the Dirty D. Depression.

For that one most often receives a kind but confused smile

accompanied by a veiling over the eyes and a murmered

something-or-other followed by a change of topic.

Unless ... one has faced the Dirty D.

But even then ... shhh quietly echoes in our heads

... shhh -- someone might hear!

The discomfort and reticence to talk about Depression

are shadowy residuals of a shame

that is still present in our culture.

!!!Thank God cancer is no longer a topic of shame and silence!!!

Someday I hope the same to be true for depression.

Today I begin my battle against any lingering shame of depression.

It will take place on three fronts:

The Cancer-Radiation Arena with posts from my cancer journals

The Anxiety-Depression Arena with past and present reflections

Continued posts on the Spiritual Arena with creative whimsical images

I hope you’ll join me and post your comments.

Go ahead! You can always post anonymously if you prefer.

And yes, you can still email me privately.

Ohhhhhh CrapCrapCRAP!!! Lost EvERY WoRD of this POst!!!

Fine! I’ll re-write and re-post!!! Hah. First battle. Won it.

Here goes the post and the image I just created.

Pause? Rest? Realistically ... How?

2010-07-20T19:22:00.007-06:00

How often do you take time to pause
or rest through your day?
Sometimes the reaction to this question is
What!?!? Are you CrAZy!?!
I don't have Time to pause or rest!

In reality, however, we are more effective
when we do intentionally pause
and allow our minds, hearts, and bodies
to momentarily rest.

Gazing into space is one way to pause.

Gazing at an icon

is a way to spiritually pause and rest.

I like to gaze at an icon like this,

one that has a golden ground

rather than a background.

The image can seem to float with

unfocused gaze.

One of my favorites is Trinity

by the late 14th century

Russian artist Andrei Rublev.

It is the large open space
around the bowl that allows
my eyes, mind, and soul to rest
in this painting.
The neutral center provides
a visual place of solace
while my peripheral vision
still encompasses the Trinity.

Notice how your heartbeat slows,
your breathing deepens,
and you are momentarily refreshed.
See? It didn't take long at all!

Let me know how you intentionally
pause or rest. I love to hear from you!

Thinking of dad

2010-07-16T18:53:00.000-06:00

Dad's birthday would have been on the 14th

and so I decided to create a

birthday present for all of us in his memory.

All I know is that this is dad as a young adult --

mom, would you add in the comments

anything about his age or what he

was doing around this time?

I've also included a copy of the original

vintage photo below for anyone

who would like to copy it.

Love you dad. Love you mom.

Love all of you.

Fragile

2010-07-12T08:45:00.002-06:00

Sometimes our faces reveal a vulnerability

that resides deep in the soul.

What can we do?

Be gracious and gentle with ourselves.

Even (and maybe especially) during

times of strength -- an

investment for fragile times.

Mandala Play

2010-07-11T10:55:00.000-06:00

It's such fun to play;

rather than expectation

there is exploration.

Blake likes to draw and color

"those circle things."

This one was stapled into one of my journals

a couple of years ago -- notice how he finished it off

with another piece of paper stapled into the center.

Exploring color, shape, center ...

there is something about Mandalas that

rises from within -- even for a four year old!

Go ahead and pull out those broken crayons

that have pulled off paper and chewed edges.

See what happens when you explore

"one of those circle things"

then leave a comment or send me an email

with a picture of your playful creation.

Steady Hand at the Wheel

2010-07-06T18:01:00.005-06:00

This is a wisdom favorite learned from

a friend who often sails:

steady hand at the rudder;

steady hand at the wheel.

Practicing life-lessons has become a favorite tool;

so for this image I chose a calm day at sea,

added a layer of ABC basics,

and attached a postage stamp to myself.

Reminder to self: Practice the basics;

a steady hand during times of calm

will help prepare me for stormy turbulent times.

We can just let things happen ... or

we can be proactive.

I so much prefer to be somewhat prepared!

And wouldn't funky aqua wings help?

Celebrating

2010-07-04T00:10:00.000-06:00

I thought you might enjoy

celebrating with these 1920 Suffragettes.

Music for the Soul

2010-07-02T22:10:00.006-06:00

Sitting on our patio with friends

and listening to Leah sing;

doesn't get much better than this.

Click below to listen

http://leahorlikowski.com/index.htm
on Leah's website.

You might even want to purchase a cd!

Where are you going?

2010-06-29T14:01:00.001-06:00

Time ... Space ...

These are gifts I have for awhile.

I just finished a farewell lunch with

staff at my interim position.

It was wonderful being present these past months,

and a blessing to turn things over to Jessica.

So ... what's next?

How will I use this time and space?

How do you use yours?

How do you wish you could use yours?

It occurs to me that

however little

or however much we have,

the Cheshire Cat's wisdom for Alice holds true:

"If you don't know where you are going

any path will get you there."

Where are you going?

Where do you hope to go?

Playing at Sunrise

2010-06-24T15:47:00.000-06:00

When was the last time

you allowed yourself the

freedom to play?

To really let loose as a child does?

Was it today -- or some time ago?

How about renewing the play in your life.

It might be fun to think the renewal as

Playing at Sunrise.

En-Joy

2010-01-03T07:01:00.003-07:00

En-joy:

Enter 2010

With joy

My hope

My prayer

For you, for me, for us.

Happiness

2009-12-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

This beautiful stained glass symbol for Happiness

was made by my dear friend Elaine.

I love how she adds, "Aristotle stated that happiness

(also being well and doing well) is the only thing

that humans desire for its own sake,

unlike riches, honor, health, or even friendship."

What a beautiful wish for any loved one

during this Holy Season.

Together

2009-11-26T08:06:00.003-07:00

Being Together.

One of the gifts of Thanksgiving.

Whether physically with loved ones

or there in spirit,

being together is such a gift!

New ER Under African Skies

2009-11-16T11:18:00.001-07:00

My sister recently worked with a silent auction to help

raise funds for a new ER in the mountainous rural

Rukunriri district southwest of Uganda.

Last year local workers converted

two rooms and a closet into one open space.

Stretchers, oxygen equipment, splinting materials,

and storage closets were provided through the

fundraising efforts of two doctors.

On June 2, 2008, the first ER of this kind in Africa opened.

They served 500 people that first month.

I love thinking about this:

Since 8 out of 10 leading causes of death before then

had been because of trauma and severe diseases treatable

with quality emergency care, a significant number of lives

are now saved every day of every month!

This November 2009 silent auction raised $16,000!

But. I don't believe this is enough.

We can do better. We can raise more.

I'd love for you to help.

Maybe this could be a Christmas present for

someone you love instead of a traditional gift?

Click on the website below for the nonprofit agency

Global Emergency Care Collective

if you're willing to learn more and help.

Thanks! I think this kind of present is what

Christmas is really all about.

www.globalemergencycare.org

Racing or Enjoying the Sights?

2009-11-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

Which one are you today?

(No fair telling me which one I am!)

A friend sent me a prayer/poem

with these beautiful lines (Thanks Linda!):

There is no substitute for the present moment.

To enter it slow down

Until it envelops you.

We are always choosing: either

in fear, keep busy

or in wonder, attend.

There is no way but slowing down

to see and live truly,

to be here and not elsewhere.

I'm slowing moment by moment,

choosing moment by moment,

seeking to see and live truly.

It's not impossible for me this way.

Moment by moment.

How about you?

Beautiful Souls

2009-11-10T09:02:00.002-07:00

We just returned from family vacation in California.

One of our grandaughters was in a

Silent Parade celebrating All Saints Day.

Here she is as St. Barbara.

And here she is as St. Barbara Pinkalicious.

She requested her favorite color,

pink of course, and a cross.

Well ... we had to have fun with pics of each sister.
So we took this one of joyful dancing,
added a magical starry background,
a luminous star on her cheek,
a rainbow of purplicious flowers and crown,
and our princess danced away with her cousin.

Precious. Precious Souls.

How goes it with your soul today?

Blessed for sure.

Magical Night, Day of Remembering

2009-11-01T09:37:00.001-07:00

Last night we walked around

the 16th Street Mall here in Denver

and enjoyed all the creative costumes.

There was also a wondrously fun

pillow-fight tradition at

Larimer Square during

each pedestrian crossing.

Today I'm enjoying All Saints Day

and thinking of dad.

Who are some of the saints you love?

Adventure!

2009-10-30T15:24:00.003-06:00

... Creating and thinking of Amelia Earhart

as I prepare to begin a new journey.

I wonder what adventures lie around the corner.

How about you?

What adventures might be ahead for your soul?

Whimsical Palm Tree

2009-10-23T13:06:00.004-06:00

Where does your imagination take you today?

If you'd like, come play beneath

my whimsical palm.

Then sit very still.
You might be able to feel

the warmth of the ocean breeze!

Or ... where else would your soul like to play?

Playing With Color

2009-10-09T00:10:00.002-06:00

Sometimes the simplicity of one color speaks to the soul.

What color is your soul today?

Autumn Impressions: What is a Soul Journal, Anyway?

2009-10-07T12:45:00.008-06:00

"Listen! the wind is rising,

and the air is wild with leaves.

We have had our summer evenings,

now for October eves!" ~Humbert Wolfe~

This great quote (thanks Jamie!) reminded me of
journal pages from a couple years ago.
Looking at the pages this morning I can see
echoes of my soul at the time.

I thought that describing the process of making those pages

might be a good way to give you a glimpse into a Soul Journal.

It started one afternoon while I was reading

a Smithsonian Magazine that my husband was finished with.

(Being last to read, I can play with the wonderful images!)

I remember noticing the dark colors in

Beautiful Rain, a painting by Renoir.

Carefully tearing out the picture I thought about

other paintings by Renoir with their bright colors,

children playing, and sunny gardens. Those were the

type of Impressionist paintings that usually appeal to me.

It really surprised me to be moved by these dark autumnal colors.

I pulled out a stash of paints, ink-pads and stamps,

and "stuff" torn from envelopes, magazines,
restaurant napkins, and the like.

(Some of my favorite things to use in my Soul Journal

pages are bits and pieces of life around me.)

Randomly opening the book I was altering, I took

colored ink-pads and watercolors and began to rub, paint, and
daub on colors that reminded me of fall sunsets.

To create a casual messy softness I rip around images and

then rub a combination of neutral inks over the white edges.

I also crumpled up the red flowers

and brushed sepia over the wrinkles to add depth and interest.

I continued to play around, adding a dried stalk from

my sister's garden and postage stamps that brightened the pages.

Pausing to take a look, they all seemed to want a cozy interior space.

so, looking out the window at the fall leaves in olive green,

dark ochre yellow, and sepia brown, I smudged and layered

those colors until they created warm and safe edges.

(Can you hear echoes of my soul at that time?)

Dark purple and brown inks were used to stamp the

randomly selected clocks, fern, and butterflies

on top of the autumn-sunset colors.

(Again, can you see intuitive symbolism in the selected images?)

Looking back, the way those dark beautiful colors

in the magazine spoke to me now makes some sense.

Recovering from cancer treatments

and working through accompanying depression

it had become increasingly difficult to talk about my feelings.

I had searched around me and scrounged through the

cancer magazines scattered in oncology waiting rooms

but could find no evidence of others struggling with

such depression after treatments.

Everywhere I looked other cancer survivors were

full of sunshine, optimism, and hope.

They were ready to jump back into life,

eager to re-embrace every single day.

And so I had grown deeply ashamed of my depression

and tried to hide it even more than usual.

(I know, while many commented on how good I was doing,

I didn't hide much of anything from those of you

familiar with depression.)

As I flipped through the magazine that day

something about those dark colors resonated with my soul.

And while I noticed how powerful they were to me, I

didn't really try to understand. Instead, I simply

allowed them to be a springboard for

creative play and nonverbal expression.

Soul Journals can be helpful

when words are inadequate, unavailable.

And ... isn't it delightfully ironic how often we

return to words to explain those nonverbal expressions?

Click below or email me and let me know how you Soul-Journal or

how you'd like to begin. Remember, I'm always glad to

answer questions if you're unsure how to begin.
I love all your comments and emails for those who prefer!

I'd Love to ... But ...

2009-09-23T10:04:00.004-06:00

Learning to slow down is a life-long journey for me.

It's not so much learning how ...

if I've forgotten every tip I've ever learned

all I have to do is search the internet and there is

more info than I've ever wanted ...

and I still haven't even begun to slow down.

Usually it's a matter of

following one of my favorite ad slogans:

Just Do It.

Sit still. Stand still.

Breathe.

Notice. Breathe.

There. Do you feel it?

For just a moment we slowed down.

Isn't it a bit different?

Enjoy .. then move on.

What is a Mandala? Can it help me deal with stress?

2009-09-09T12:27:00.014-06:00

Does your mind sometimes run like a hamster racing around a wheel?

Harried desperate and frenzied ... moving in circles?

Since mandalas relate to both sides of the brain

they are a helpful way to deal with the stress and anxiety of life.

With the left brain we can use reason and logic
to acknowledge the frenzy associated with stress
and consider possible forms of healing.

These ancient geometric images of interlocking shapes

are found all around the world.
Their balanced and repetitive patterns
appeal to the left side of the brain.

Carl Jung encouraged creative and relaxing use of mandalas

to help the subconscious open up to healing.

Journal flower-doodling

Mandalas also appeal to the right side of our brain as we

contemplate them and slowly settle into inner silence.

We find the concentric symmetry of a mandala all around us.

Consider a daffodil, ferris wheel, compass,

or stained glass window.

Rose Window in St. Chapelle, Paris

At this point you might be thinking about
how a mandala can help you deal with your daily stress.

Here are three spiritual practices you might try with mandalas.

* Print and color a mandala with three or four crayons, markers, or colored pencils. You can use one of the ancient sacred geometry mandalas above or the creative mandala below that Catherine Whipple created.

Mandala Swirl 6 by Catherine Whipple

Her website www.self-help-healing-arts-journal.com has

many more mandalas for you to enjoy.

After you print your mandala select colors to use. You may either intentionally choose or randomly select the colors. Slowly color or lightly sketch different sections. The process of repeating or alternating colors around the shape will both derive from and lead you into the subconscious or your deeper self.

** Draw your own mandala. Any concentric symmetrical shape can serve as a model. Some people experiment with shapes on a computer; some draw flowers or the spokes of a windmill; others simply doodle with circles, triangles, and other shapes.

*** Reflect on a mandala shape that appeals to you, perhaps something you've noticed around you. As you observe the image you select, soften your eyes and relax your focus; simply rest with the colors and shapes to move into mystery beyond words and thoughts.

Our daughter often finds mandala-like shapes!

Each of these practices is an invitation
into sacred time and holy space.

There is no correct or incorrect technique,
no proper or improper procedure.

It is the process itself working within us: a means of grace.

I'd love to hear about the process of working with your mandala

or see a picture of it; you can send it to me by email.

Enjoy the journey!

Beautiful Yearning

2009-08-31T21:09:00.008-06:00

Last night I ran across

this poignant vintage image;

I spent a thoughtful morning with her

today -- while also learning

how to add the transparent image

and beautiful score of music.

It seems as if every fiber of this woman's

heart, soul, mind, and strength

stretches up in hopeful yearning.

Can you see the lift of every muscle

in her neck, every rib in her torso,

every breath that she takes?

Can you see the hope in her upturned

face, in the soft corner of her eye,

in her gently closed lips?

Hope radiates from her soul,

sings from her heart,

lifts her entire being.

She reminds me of Bernini's exquisite

carving St. Theresa of Avila in

Santa Maria della Vittoria in Rome.

I'll share that with you one day soon.

But for today, what is it that you yearn for?

What would make your heart sing?

Go ahead and reach for it.

Reach for it like she does, with every fiber of

your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

What Helped?

2009-08-25T15:37:00.006-06:00

People often ask me,

What helped you get well?

For the breast cancer it was radiation.

But they usually know that.

It's the depression most people ask about.

It's not an easy question to answer.

I worked so hard to get well -- but it took more than two years.

There were the usuals:

A good counselor, meds, vitamins, healthy food,

plenty of sleep, yoga, meditation, spiritual reflection,

caring family, humor, good books, chic-flicks ...

And time. Lots of time. Much more time than I wanted it to take.

But I'm convinced that the most important thing

for my healing has been friends.

For years my focus had been on our family and the people

in congregations I served as a United Methodist pastor.

I loved everything that I was doing, even thrived on it.

But there was little time left for personal friendships.

And over time this took its toll.

But when I went on medical leave all I had was time.

Time and more time. Time to rest, time to sleep,

time to practice yoga, time to walk, time to bike,

time to meditate, time to journal, time to play the piano,

time to read, time to watch movies, time to do crosswords,

time to visit family ... and time to seek new friendships.

I'm convinced that it's the friendships that turned things around.

Centuries ago Dorotheus of Gaza taught that

our spiritual lives are much like the spokes of a wheel.

The closer we move toward the holy, the center of our being,

the closer we move to one another.

Likewise, the closer we move toward one another,

the closer we move to the holy.

Then there's the corollary.

When we intentionally move away from one another,

and also When we fail to move closer to one another,

we find ourselves moving away from the center, the holy.

Without taking time for myself and deep personal friendships

it was like I was skipping around and around the spokes.

Eventually I found myself spiritually drying up

in a very different way from the natural ebb and flow

of desert times and bountiful times.

It's truly not enough to focus just on our spiritual lives.

The pairing with meaningful relationships provides a rhythm,

a continuity, a balance to our journeys.

Thanks everyone.

You're parading through my mind as I write.

Wow! It's true, I just realized!

Enough friends, enough meaningful friendships,

for an entire parade!

Singing the Blues with Buddy Guy

2009-08-06T23:59:00.008-06:00

We planned our day in Chicago:

an afternoon wandering through the Art Institute

and then an evening listening to the blues

at Buddy Guy’s Legends.

What is it about the blues that I love so much?

I think the movie Adventures in Babysitting got it right.

The children and their sitter find themselves

racing through Chicago on a Friday night rescue mission;

they escape one predicament just to find themselves in another.

But things change when they find themselves in a blues club.

They can’t leave until they sing the blues:

Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.

They’re slowed down because you can’t escape or run away;

you can only go through what life puts before you.

So Elisabeth Shue (the babysitter) takes the microphone

and tells their woeful story.

It’s amazing what happens when we tell our story.

Things aren’t quite as bad as we thought.

Oh, they may be bad alright,

but naming them takes away ruthless their power.

A little perspective helps too.

This is what I love: when you sing the blues you go through them.

And it’s really the only way.

Oh, I’ve tried other ways. Haven’t you?

The old Spiritual explains it though:

You can’t go around them ‘cause they’re too wide;

you can’t go over them ‘cause they’re too high;

and you can’t go under them ‘cause they’re too low.

So there we were in Chicago

celebrating the blues -- on Buddy Guy’s 73rd birthday.

We showed up early for front row seats,

played pool, and shared our table with new friends.

We sang and listened, laughed and talked.

We shared stories of cancer, unemployment, and new jobs.

We worked our way through the blues

and came out on the other side.

Even news of a positive breast cancer biopsy

could be experienced in a different light.

Our new friend hugged me good-bye

and added through tears, It’s going to be alright.

I pulled back, looked into her eyes,

and saw the strength reflected there.

Yes, I agreed.

It would somehow be alright for them.

For mother and daughter would go through it together.

That’s what the blues brings. Hope.

Eighty-Five and Proud of it!

2009-07-27T17:36:00.003-06:00

At age 84 Mom took up water coloring.

"Rose in Vase" is her favorite

(so far she reminds me).

What an inspiring way

to show us how to live, love, and enjoy life.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Grace: Unconditional No-Matter-What Love

2009-07-27T17:00:00.005-06:00

Who does this bring to mind?

Is there someone in your life that

provides this kind of love?

In our family it's

Mom. Gramma. GG (Great-Gramma).

Everyone ... every child, every niece,

every nephew, every grandchild,

every great-grandchild ... everyone

has said at one time or another

Gramma will be there for us No Matter What.

No-Matter-What Love.

Always there. Always will be. Always.

That's Grace.

Who do you love like this?

Notice how you're changed, even as

you think about loving someone in this way.

Now ... Enjoy.

The Delight of Wonder

2009-07-23T12:32:00.005-06:00

What would it mean to approach

every day with wonder, as Rabbi Abraham Heschel taught?

What would it mean to see life

as through the lens of a camera, as our son-in-law does?

What would it mean to pause,

to re-approach life with wonder,

so that we might experience

the delightful mystery of life all around us?

Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder.

Surprise me, amaze me, awe me, enrapture me

with Your marvelous things without number.

I do not ask

to see the reason for it all;

I ask only

to share the wonder of it all.

--Abraham Joshua Heschel

Workshop: Ten Tips to Create a Soul Journal

2009-07-21T11:54:00.017-06:00

1. Start

Select a color, a word, a symbol, an image. It doesn't matter what you start with. Just start. With anything. The starting is what matters.

This is one of the first pages I made several years ago. It's still one of my favorites, and I really had no idea what I was doing. I simply started. It's really all about the soul.

2. Play

Let your imagination wander. Allow yourself to freely select words, symbols, colors, images. Remember, this is about the soul, not the intellect, and so things don't have to make sense -- in fact, they may NOT make sense.

The woman wearing aviator glasses was in a funky sports magazine ad. I ripped out the page and set it aside. Later I noticed that she seemed to say to me 'have fun! dare to be daring! you can do anything!' in a powerful combination of playfulness and courage.

3. Mess Around

Use scissors to cut something out ... or simple rip around the edges.

I love this method: because there is no way to make something perfect, there can be no imperfection -- Freedom!!!

4. Select a Journal Page

Did you notice? This does not have to be step one. If you haven't selected a journal or some kind of pages for your background, you can do that now. You can use a journal you already have as long as you're comfortable with a few bumps or wrinkles as you can see here, particularly around the glass tiles.

You can also start with a sheet of paper, a sketch journal from the dollar store, or a book from the reduced-for-quick-sale section at your favorite used book store. That's what I've done. I'm in love with books, and this just made sense to me for my Soul Journals.

5. Begin a Background

I brushed on green paint first. Any kind will work; inexpensive acrylics from a craft store are great. You can dry it more quickly with a hair dryer; then it's helpful to lay a piece of wax paper on top, held down by a heavy book so the pages won't curl. While this dried I leafed through magazines where I found this wonderful quote, the Grecian woman, and the large vintage clock.

6. Add for Depth and Texture

You can continue to work with the background to add layers.

Here I took a pad of dark brown ink to brush the edges and smear around the perimeter. I like to use my fingers, a bit of kitchen sponge, or brushes.

Then I smudged on some darker green paint. There's no rhyme or reason. The layers will add depth and interest ... much as the soul has mystery and unknown dimensions.

7. Mess Around Again

I placed words and pictures, moved them around, selected more items, discarded some, added some back in, and changed everything around again.

This is part of the process: allow the soul to freely wander.

After I cut out the clock (I think it was from a Smithsonian magazine ad) I wrinkled it up into a ball. Using the dark brown ink I rubbed over the wrinkles and around the edges -- instant aging! The numbers were from some product box or another -- there are interesting words and numbers all around us.

8. Stand Back

Do you want to move something a bit? Completely alter the arrangement? Add something else? Trust your intuition.

When it seems done, go ahead and glue down your collage pieces. Can you see a shine on these pages? Sometimes I use clear collage gel that dries with a gloss finish. (Remember, you can dry your pages more quickly with a blow dryer and then re-flatten with wax paper and a heavy book.)

9. Finishing

Ribbon, string, and pieces of fabric can be glued down the center or tied to the side; simply poke holes near the edge of the page, pull fabric or ribbon through and tie. Bronze glass mosaic tiles, dragonfly brads, an old button, and vintage stamps finished off the pages.

Is there still something you decide you want to change? You can. Or you can leave it. Imperfect? Unfinished? ... When is anything perfect? Or finished?

Maybe it's perfectly imperfect just as it is. This is all a process.

10. Enjoy

Have you noticed how a very young toddler will take a picture book and stare at the pictures for ages? I often wonder what's going on inside.

Try the same thing yourself.

Allow your gaze to wander into thoughts, memories, hopes, dreams ... allow yourself to settle into serenity, joy, quietness ... and enjoy the journey.

Look for future posts on continuing your soul journal. Meanwhile, don't forget the first step ... Start.

Please remember to post your comments and ask questions. I'd love to know you've visited and I'm always glad to explain things!

Joyous Dancing Among the Waves ... ... ... ... With Cherries!

2009-07-17T10:02:00.012-06:00

"What in God might appear to us as play,

is perhaps what God takes most seriously.

We are invited to forget ourselves on purpose

and join in the general dance."

--Thomas Merton

As my preschool grandson would say,

Amazing, huh?

I've been so excited about sharing this quote with you

that I was up at 3am (!!!) to finish learning

how to combine images on Photoshop to go with it.

Enjoy the quote, enjoy the image,

Enjoy the Dance.

(PS: If you'd like the full quote email me
and I'll gladly send it to you.)

Surprise!

2009-07-16T08:22:00.008-06:00

I had my morning coffee with a squirrel

and thought about Emily Dickenson and

Beatrix Potter with their squirrels.

Ours played beneath the corner bench

scrubbing through mulch,

intent on finding some yummy thing.

For one moment I turned my back,

set down my coffee and the last of my toast.

Ohhhh that mischievous neighbor!

But I should have known.

Wonder who enjoyed more

the crispy crunch,

the seeds and grains?

I decided that I did,

for mine was topped with

delightful entertainment,

joy and laughter.

Gazing as Prayer without Words

2009-07-14T11:10:00.000-06:00

Just look at the serene blues and greens in this watercolor --

and the tranquil reflections in the water are amazing!

It's the lake I wrote about a couple of posts back.

I'm so grateful to Mike Thomas for permission to use

Boathouse at Smith Lake, Washington Park, Denver.

It really gives a wonderful impression of the the park.

I love how our thoughts and feelings can be subtly

affected by contemplating a setting like this. Last Friday

as I gazed at the currents flowing across the lake,

I slowly rested into hope; that was my prayer.

Words were unnecessary.

When talking isn't helpful and words only get in the way,

gazing at an image can help shift our thoughts -- and in turn

shift our physical and emotional reactions.

For example, have you ever found that talking about a problem

doesn't bring relief, but instead causes a tense visceral reaction?

Things like an anxious tightness in the back, churning knots

in the stomach, or tense clinching around the shoulders.

What I tend to notice first is how my voice rises a level or

two ... or three ... and how my pattern of speech often begins

to gallop into breakneck speed.

By gazing at a calm scene or a soothing watercolor like this,

our mindful attentiveness can become prayer.

When our lives are disrupted and our souls disturbed,

when words are insufficient even in prayer, we can

allow our gaze to settle into prayer without words.

Nicknames

2009-07-12T20:06:00.003-06:00

Seeing old friends is great.

You know what else is great?
To be able to respond
when asked "How are you?" with
"I'm cancer free -- and
I'm depression free."

I call them
the "Big C"

and the "Dirty D"

There's power in a name.
Liberating power as well as oppressive power.
There's calm centering power,
and there's also the
whimsical redeeming power of nicknames.

What are some of your favorite nicknames
for struggles or Pains-in-the-Neck?
Favorite practical jokes?
Dreaded foods, days, or tasks?
Alter-egos or an Inner Child?

Tranquil Waters, Gentle Waves

2009-07-10T17:13:00.000-06:00

Every Friday morning I meet a group of friends

at one of the parks in the Denver area.

Today we gathered near the Vintage Boathouse at Wash Park.

We spread my Great-Great-Aunt-Sissy's quilt with its faded pink flowers

beneath huge lakeside shade trees and lounged with

our coffee, tea, and morning snacks.

The peaceful water seemed to soothe everything around us.

Even the white geese with trailing toddlers

were more tranquil than usual.

I gazed out over the gently drifting current

and thought of friends whose days and realistic expectations

are anything but calm, serene, or tranquil.

Hundreds of applications and dozens of interviews,

sleepless nights and stressful days,

anxious weeks extending into months.

How long? How long, O Lord? echoes the 13th Psalm.

How long must sorrow remain? How long?

There are no words sufficient for my hopes.

But there are gentle waves drifting by.

Something New to Try!

2009-07-05T12:38:00.000-06:00

What might it be like

to lighten our souls, brighten our lives,

and find joyous moments throughout our days?

(How often it is that we think of our life journey

as something 'serious' -- you know,

when even the word 'serious' is spoken

slowly, sedately, and in our deepest voice;

something weighty and pendantic!)

With my new blog,

I hope to share with you

a journey filled with

whimsical creative practices

for joyous moments in a thoughful life.

Whimsical Soul Journey

A Time for Everything

Down the Rabbit Hole!

Happy Spring!

All Shall Be Well

Ordinary Miracle

Laughing With Friends -- A Treasure

After the night ...

I am

David's Story

Sharing the Halloween Candy? Really?

Sun! Flowers

Flying High 2: Cast Your Vote!

Flying High

Playing with Flowers

Depression Distractions

Look Upward and Outward: Cheyenne Flying Thunderbirds Air Show

Put Your Anger to Good Use: Those @^*&/!# *%/!#@s!

Battling Depression -- via a Young Don Quixote

Dare ... to Dive In

Pause? Rest? Realistically ... How?

Thinking of dad

Fragile

Mandala Play

Steady Hand at the Wheel

Celebrating

Music for the Soul

Where are you going?

Playing at Sunrise

En-Joy

Happiness

Together

New ER Under African Skies

Racing or Enjoying the Sights?

Beautiful Souls

Magical Night, Day of Remembering

Adventure!

Whimsical Palm Tree

Playing With Color

Autumn Impressions: What is a Soul Journal, Anyway?

I'd Love to ... But ...

What is a Mandala? Can it help me deal with stress?

Beautiful Yearning

What Helped?

Singing the Blues with Buddy Guy

Eighty-Five and Proud of it!

Grace: Unconditional No-Matter-What Love

The Delight of Wonder

Workshop: Ten Tips to Create a Soul Journal

Joyous Dancing Among the Waves ... ... ... ... With Cherries!

Surprise!

Gazing as Prayer without Words

Nicknames

Tranquil Waters, Gentle Waves

Something New to Try!

Put Your Anger to Good Use: Those @^&/!# %/!#@s!